r e m e m b e r i n g  u s
by winteredspark
Summary: /Stefan pretends not to notice the way she's staring into the house through the glass windows, how her eyes meet Damon's and offer a silent apology. She wants both brothers in different parts of her life, and he can't change that./ Stelena-Delena.


**r e m e m b e r i n g ( _u s _**

**(:-:) **

**A/N: This is a little idea I had, based off on Elena and Stefan's relationship throughout the series. I feel like too many people throw away their relationship for nothing, but I believe they really did care about each other. I also believe, however, that Stefan dealt with horrible jealousy issues when it came to Elena and Damon. And thus, this story was born. It'll be a couple parts, each part a letter from the title. Hope you enjoy :)**

_/part **one/**_

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><p><strong>r<strong>_ing _(:-:)

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><p>"Can I see your ring?"<p>

He glances over at her, at her petite frame leaning against the doorframe. It's been weeks since she's found out what he is, and the wariness is ever apparent in her brown eyes. He wonders why she hasn't walked away yet, like she insisted she would so many times.

"Stefan." Her voice grows impatient, and he starts. Elena cocks an eyebrow as he waves her towards the darkness of his home, and doesn't move from her protective spot. Her muscles are taut; she looks ready to bolt the moment he takes a step towards her.

"I told you already," he says patiently, if not wearily, "if I step out into the sunlight without my ring, I will quickly disintegrate into a pile of ash, and be no more." Damon would taunt him for his elegant way of speaking, but Elena doesn't seem to have a problem with it.

A sigh rumbles in her chest. She is deliberating, wondering if he will bleed the life out of her given the slightest lapse of awareness on her side.

"Why would I give you the necklace with vervain if I didn't intend to protect you?" Stefan asks, watching her eyes flash and wishing he could feel amused by it. It's easy to see that he guessed exactly what she'd been thinking about since the night she discovered what he was, the thought she is extremely reluctant to share with him.

It would be amusing, if not for the way that she obviously doesn't trust him. And yet, there, a tiny step in his direction, and she is here in the first place. Probably just to protect Jeremy, if nothing else; but she must feel that she is safe in his presence. It gives him hope.

She takes another step into the room, and visibly flinches as she notes his smile.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Stefan repeats, keeping eye contact with her.

"Why did you smirk like that, then?" Elena asks him, rolling her stiff shoulders. Her fingers loop around the edge of the wall by the door, as though by grasping it she can guarentee her safety.

He tries not to laugh at her remark, "Am I not allowed to smile, now? I was simply happy to see you."

Elena flushes, and it's beautiful.

"Can I see your ring?" She holds out an expectant hand, frowning as he shakes his head at her. "Well, I'm not coming in there. With the way Damon was looking at me like I was a slab of meat just waiting to be devoured -"

Stefan bites his lip as her voice wavers. She's scared of Damon, though she hates to admit it, scared of the unknown. Considering just what she's been enlightened to in these past weeks, Stefan is surprised she hasn't exploded yet.

"I am not my brother, Elena." He keeps his voice slow, steady, trying not to alarm her. "I thought you understood that by now." It hurts him to see her stereotype him, believe that he is as bloodthirsty as his brother.

"I do," she says.

"Then stop hiding by the door like you expect me to attack you," Stefan snaps, hating the hard edge to his tone.

Silence, Elena's lower lip trembling, and then she takes several steps into the room. The door closes behind her with a soft click.

"Can I see your ring now?" she asks, her voice clotted with tears.

More than anything, Stefan wishes he could be by her side, stroking the tears from her face. But he knows that it would only succeed in scaring her away for good, and that is something he cannot risk. Her distrust he can deal with, but not her hatred. Stefan slides the ring off his finger and places it down on the end-table, sliding to the other end of the couch so she doesn't feel so threatened.

"You said that it is a family heirloom, right?" Elena picks the ring up slowly, her face lighting up with curiosity as she holds it up to the light. A tear glistens on her cheek, but quickly disappears; she has never been able to hold onto her more volatile emotions for long.

"Yes," Stefan replies evenly. "It has been passed down for generations, but were no more than antiques gathering dust on the shelf in our manor before we changed."

She looks at him, then back at the ring.

"How - was it enchanted to protect you from sunlight before?"

He exhales slowly, "No."

Elena's lips tighten, "This is one of those things you're determined to keep from me, aren't you?" She sounds so much like she did when they were together, resting with limbs entangled on her bed, that it makes his heart ache just a little. She never did like him keeping secrets.

"It's not that I don't want to tell you," Stefan says, "but I don't want to chase you away."

She's looking at him, pensive, for a moment, and then she holds out her free hand. He moves slowly, taking it and caressing her skin with his thumb, delighting in her shiver. There is fear in her eyes, but she refuses to let go of his hand, instead moving until they are almost pressed up against each other.

"You won't," she whispers, biting her lip a tad seductively, something she is probably unaware of. "I'm sorry."

Stefan brushes her hair back with fingers like silk, then cups her chin. Her lips look very inviting, but he doesn't think it is the appropriate time to kiss her. Instead, he allows himself a radiant smile, then twines their hands together.

"You have no idea how good it is to hear you say that," Stefan confesses, fervently.

Elena smiles up at him, the fear slowly fading away from her eyes.

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><p><strong>e<strong>_legant _(:-:)

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><p>"Is everything okay?"<p>

"Oh." Elena spins around, revealing eyes with dark circles under them. Her blue tanktop reveals a pattern of bruises running along the side of her neck from where Vicki bit her. It's been about a week since the attack at school, and she would insist that she's fine. "You're here to check up on me again, am I right?"

Stefan leans against the countertop, watching as she pulls out the coffee grounds from the back of the left cabinet closest to the fridge. Her breath is shaky - she's beyond surprised at seeing him, spooked - and her fingers are white as she grips the fridge door too hard to peek inside for their pitcher of filtered water.

"I have my reasons," he says, keeping his tone neutral as she slides the coffee pot in and presses start. "How is Jeremy?"

"Coping." Elena turns towards the window, her eyes nearly black in the dim light. She hates talking about her younger brother, has been sleeping outside his door as she watches his memories alter. "He doesn't suspect."

"That's a good thing," Stefan says, reaching out and touching her shoulder that isn't bruised. She jumps.

"I - Stefan." Elena sighs, wrapping her arms around herself and hissing as her fingertips brush the healing gash on her side. "I feel like I'm lying to him."

"That's because you are," Stefan says, stretching out a hand. She smiles slowly, wrapping her fingers around his and allowing him to pull her into his arms. He kisses her brow gently, and begins to sway back and forth.

"I don't like lying," she mumbles against his chest, laughing despite herself as he dips her back slowly and then pulls her up into his chest once more. "Are you trying to dance with me, or something?"

"Or something." He raises his arm and she spins underneath it, her smile widening. Touching the side of her waist that isn't injured, he begins to sway once more to the tune of some music she can only pretend to hear. It's amazing to watch her try to keep in step, her forehead furrowing as she falls out of rhythm, and her victorious smirk every time she spins slowly with her hand tucked in his. It's these moments where his heart warms and he can't imagine losing this girl, ever.

"How am I doing?" Elena asks, glancing shyly up at him and cursing as she steps on his foot. "Obviously I was never ballerina material."

"Personally," he says, spinning her gracefully and allowing his fingers to splay across her back, "I never much liked ballerinas. You _were_ rather talented at cheerleading, though, if I remember correctly."

"Your memory must be faulty." She laughs again, faltering as she knocks his hip into the island in the middle of the kitchen. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry."

"Elena, hey," Stefan murmers sweetly, gathering her face in between his hands, "don't worry about it." He watches her eyes darken with lust, and his own mouth aches as her tongue darts out. She has no idea how absolutely sexy she looks right now, with no makeup on, and her hair a complete mess. All she has to do is look at him with those eyes, and he loses all form of speech.

Elena sighs, her breath fogging over his face, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You're beautiful, Elena." He dips his head down slowly enough that she could turn away if she wanted to. But instead, she stretches up and closes the distance between them, kissing him hungrily. It's only a brief kiss, but a passionate one they haven't shared since they first started seeing each other. The ding of the coffee maker drags her out of his arms, and she pulls the coffee pot from its stand gratefully.

"You worry about him a lot," Stefan says as he watches her eyes flick up towards the ceiling.

Elena pulls a mug from the cabinet and sets it on the counter; the porcelian clatters, sharp in the near silence. Taking the pot of coffee, she pours the scalding brown liquid into the mug, filling it up about half way. The whole process is methodical, nearly robotic. She's been making herself a cup of coffee every morning since freshman year, so the routine doesn't take much thought anymore.

"Of course I worry about Jeremy," she says, glancing briefly at him. "He's got no one else to look out for him, so it's my responsibility." Stefan can hear the edge of sorrow in her tone as she thinks about her parents, something they never talk about anymore. He won't press her on it, because there's nothing for her to do but accept that things will never be the same.

"He's lucky to have you." Stefan weaves his arms around her slender waist as she takes a sip of coffee. She winces as it burns her tongue.

"And I'm lucky to have you," Elena says, turning around so that she can look up at him, "even if I stomp on your poor toes all the time." She looks regretfully down at his shoes, cheeks burning.

He burrows his face into her neck, making her first stiffen, then sigh with pleasure. His fangs lightly nip at her skin, playfully; she knows he won't actually hurt her. He could never hurt her.

"You dance elegently," Stefan breathes into her shoulder, smiles as she kisses his cheek.

Picking up a spoon from the lower drawer to the right, Elena points it at him, "And you, sir, love to kiss my ass." Pretending to ignore his mock incredulous expression, she dips the spoon into her coffee and follows it with a dribble of sugar. Then, thoughtfully, she begins to stir the mixture. "You know, I guess I'm sort of lucky to have Damon too."

Stefan feels his whole body go rigid. Elena is too busy stirring her coffee - he doesn't understand how she can drink it black, awful - to notice his face freeze. How could she - how - what - how could she possibly ever endure the presence of such a blood-thirsty monster as Damon?

"I mean," Elena continues, still oblivious, "it's not like I actually enjoy his presence. I just - he made Jeremy forget, and -"

"He's still despicable, Elena. He's what caused Vicki's death. He's what caused Jeremy to fall apart again," Stefan snaps, struggling to regain control of himself. She has turned by this point, examined his expression, and kissed him softly.

"Like I said," Elena mumbles against his lips, "one good deed doesn't write him off my black book." She hugs Stefan to her for a brief minute before turning back to her coffee.

Stefan forces himself to think that she's a compassionate woman; that's the reason she's acting like this, because she clearly despises Damon for all that he has done. His arms wrap around Elena's waist and he sinks his lips into her hair, inhaling the soft scent of jasmine.

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><p><strong>m<strong>_esmerized _(:-:)

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><p>She looks so innocent when she sleeps.<p>

Stefan runs a lingering finger over her face, over the grooves and indentations that make her who she is. She frowns, her lips pursing as though she's deep in thought. His fingers creep, and he smoothes out the lines on her forehead, wishing to make her look like the angel she is to him.

"Mmm," Elena groans, her eyelids slowly rising. "Stefan, what are you doing here? It's -" she pauses to look at the clock, "two-thirty in the morning."

"I wanted to make sure you were safe," he says, stroking her hand and making her smile.

"That's all you ever want to do," she says, rising up a little on her pillows to study him. "Klaus is teaching me - things. He's not going to hurt me, and you know it." She watches as Stefan lifts her hand to his mouth and kisses her palm. "And besides, I didn't think I ever gave you permission to spend the night with me." By this point she's eyeing him rather keenly.

"It's not like we were doing anything," Stefan says, trying to defend his actions. "It's just, I love you, and I want to spend all the time I can with you."

Elena's brown eyes soften, then droop with exhaustion, "That's sweet, Stefan, but I'm a big girl. And I sure as hell don't need you to see me like this, such a complete wreck." She picks at the rat's nest that is her hair, grunting as she discovered half a dozen tangles right away.

Stefan reaches out to hold her cheek in his palm, "You're beautiful."

"Thank you," she whispers, mollified. Leaning forward, she kisses him, and he relishes in the sparks dancing throughout his body. He hasn't felt like this for a long time, not since Katherine, and he'll make this feeling last as long as it takes to forget the past.

Elena sinks back down, pulling the covers over her shivering limbs. The November wind is crisp outside, and Stefan can see the branches rattling, nearly scraping the window.

"Stefan," she whispers drowsily, "make sure the window and door are both locked."

"Why?" He frowns as he looks down at her. "I'm here to protect you."

"Because -" Elena pauses to muffle a yawn, eyes still slits in her face. "When Damon was first invited in, he told me never to leave a door or window open, because there were infinite ways he could get to me." She rubs her eyes with loose fists. "You feed on animal blood, Stefan; he would kill you in a second."

Stefan feels a flash of hurt storm through him. The fact that she still thinks not only that Damon will hurt her, but that her own lover cannot protect her from the inevitable...it makes him struggle to see through a red haze.

"Damon will never hurt you," Stefan says, his voice tense and low.

Elena smiles sleepily, "I know. He'd never hurt me. He cares too much." She wraps her hand around Stefan's, pulling him to rest beside her. "But that doesn't mean that other things won't hurt me." With that, she tumbles into sleep, her face wiped of the stress it seems to constantly wear now.

Stefan is left to stare incredulously at the gaping window, envisioning a midnight black crow and finding that his hands are curling into taut claws. He loves Elena too much to argue with her, but the fact that she trusts Damon so much is beyond troubling. His brother has to go.

"Damn it," he hisses, "why do you have to be so mesmerizing, Lena?"

_"He'd never hurt me. He cares too much."_

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><p><strong>e<strong>_nvelope _(:-:)

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><p>"Elena, I think my brother has something he wishes to say to you," Damon croons, pulling her legs to rest on his lap.<p>

She flashes him an annoyed glance and tugs her legs back to the other side of the couch, away from the lesser appealing Salvator brother.

"Does he now," Elena muses, one eyebrow raising. "Stefan, is that true?" She turns to glance out the window towards the veranda where her boyfriend is standing, clutching a yellowing envelope in his hands.

Stefan bites his lip, trying to ignore the way his brother is smirking victoriously at him, then nods. Immediately Elena's face lightens, and she's beautiful, but it's not enough to shake him from the pounding jealousy. _Jealousy_. He hates admitting to himself that Damon gets to him so easily.

"You're brooding again," Elena comments, coming to stand right in front of him. Instinctively, his fingers reach out to loop around her waist.

"When doesn't he brood?" Damon wonders from the interior of the house, his bold laughter ringing out across the veranda as Elena shoots him another glare, this one more angry than anything.

Stefan doesn't understand how the two of them can even tolerate each other's presence. He can barely deal with Damon on a daily basis, but as brothers, they are practically stuck together. Not to mention that Damon has sworn to haunt his younger brother for the rest of eternity, and it seems that he means to keep that promise, if the string of corpses mean anything. But Elena could always avoid the house, tell Stefan to meet her at the grill or even at her house, anywhere that Damon isn't. Instead they bicker like siblings, get along in rare moments, trust each other.

"What did you want to show me, Stefan?" Elena is looking up at him, confused by his silence.

"Oh, um -" Stefan stutters.

"Yes, Stefan." Damon has moved to the shadows in the doorway and is now staring at the lovebirds with a mocking expression. "Do stop stuttering and tell Elena what you've been planning."

Elena grunts, pulls out of Stefan's arms, and faces his brother with a murderous expression.

"Piss off, Damon," she hisses.

"And I thought you were more mature than that," Damon taunts, catching her fist in mid-air. It's a ritual that the two of them share: He makes smart-ass remarks, she tries to punch him, and he stops her from doing anything, which only serves to frustrate her more.

Elena's eyes darken, and she lifts her knee up, hitting him in the groin. As his face crumples she sticks her tongue out victoriously.

"Was that really necessary?" Damon groans weakly.

Elena pats his shoulder, offering a forgiving smile, "You know you deserved it. Go inside already." She even laughs a little as she pushes Damon inside and shuts the door. Then she turns back to Stefan, taking his hand in hers.

"Why must you insist on interacting with him?" Stefan wonders, groaning inwardly as her face closes off.

For some strange reason, she doesn't like to talk about Damon with him. Every time he asks, she tells him that it's none of his business, that she wouldn't share moments with Stefan in secret with his brother, so the opposite is true as well.

"That has nothing to do with the envelope and you know it," Elena says. "Damon is really upseting you today."

He is about to retort that the feud he and Damon have sworn to isn't likely to break any time soon, but her soft eyes cut him off before he can even begin. Elena stretches up on her tip-toes, pressing her lips gently to his until he responds to her kiss. They back against the edge of the balcony, kissing until they are gasping for air. Her fingers grope for the buttons on his shirt, but he stops her.

"I thought you didn't want to do that," Stefan whispers huskily, wrapping a strand of her hair behind her ear.

Elena kisses him briefly, smiling, "I don't. Doesn't mean I can't kiss you."

"You're wicked," Stefan says, planting a kiss on her throat.

"Stop it." Elena giggles, pushing him away gently so that he knows she's not upset. "So, were you going to show me what's in the envelope?"

"I suppose." He wraps an arm about her waist and holds out the envelope to her with his free hand.

Breaking open the seal, Elena gazes curiously down at two plane tickets, her eyes wondering and joyful. She turns to look up at him, silently wondering what this present is for.

"I thought that it might be nice for the two of us to get away for awhile," Stefan confesses. He feels very much like an impatient fool right now that can't even deal with family drama, and it is clear that Elena's thoughts are along the same line. It's amazing how well he can read her now; there are only rare occassions that he can't figure out what her eyes are trying to tell him, and of course those are the moments that Damon steps in to prove his worth. Damon seems to understand parts of Elena his brother can't, and that is beyond bothersome.

Elena kisses him, freeing him from his thoughts.

"You are amazing," she breathes into the crook of his neck as she holds him close. "This is just what we need."

Stefan pretends not to notice the way she's staring into the house through the glass windows, how her eyes meet Damon's and offer a silent apology. He just has to deal with the fact that she wants both brothers in her life, in different _parts_ of her life, and there is nothing he can do to change that.

_- **tbc -**_


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